Friday, December 26, 2008

Just to show I'm still alive...

Hi everyone. I'm still here. As alive as I'll ever be, I guess, which right now doesn't seem to amount to too much. :)

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you all!

Sunday, August 24, 2008

The more you get, the less you want...

I have this particular philosophy about money and material things: the more you get, the less you want. The basic idea I have is that the more money I make, the less important material things seem to get in life. It's a bit funny, really. When I was younger, and less financially-able, I seemed to want so many things (ex. a nicer car, all the latest gadgets and the ability to eat anywhere I want and travel anywhere I want); as I got older and made enough to really be able to afford most of these things, I found out that buying them didn't seem as fun anymore.

It's as if part of the satisfaction was in the struggle. If I didn't have much, then those things that were out of my financial reach seemed to be so desirable, perhaps more because a part of me needed to feel good about myself rather than because it had any particular meaning to me. Once I could afford most of these things, the thrill of buying them seemed to diminish. I had less and less urgency, and the thought of buying what once seemed unreachable got kind of... boring? I don't know any other way to describe it. It just seems less interesting somehow.

That's when I realized that the purpose of wealth isn't to buy everything you want; wealth, instead, is meant for you to KNOW you can buy anything you want... that way, you don't need to feel like you need something to validate you. You can just move on to other challenges, because this one has already been achieved. For example, a few years back, I really liked the idea of flying business or first class. It felt like such a status symbol, I guess, and the idea of flying in greater comfort, with better food and better service, just seemed so much more appealing. Now that I CAN fly anywhere in the world on any class, it seems to be much less exciting for me. In fact, I honestly find myself choosing economy with much greater satisfaction than I ever had before. Why? Because I didn't HAVE to fly economy. I now CHOSE to fly economy. Does that make any sense?

I guess money should be viewed more as a great "enabler" of dreams, rather than a dream in itself. When we can't even have some of the "basic" things we see others have (ex. an iPod), we tend to feel a bit diminished, I guess. It's as if we have somehow failed ourselves because we didn't give ourselves as much as others give themselves; as if we somehow weren't "good enough" for whatever social circles we deemed necessary to be a part of. But once we get enough money to achieve just about any dream we used to have... our dreams no longer seem as fulfilling. I dread to think what Bill Gates thinks of at night. After all, when you find you can afford literally anything you want, what more is there for you to want?

So now I find much more satisfaction in things I CAN'T buy: making my friends and family happy; finding inner peace and contentment; and even small things such as setting a good example for the kids in my academy. Money just doesn't hold that much meaning anymore, to be honest. Each month I watch my money grow, I just think "Ok... I can buy more things, but what's my next great adventure going to be? How am I REALLY going to make a difference in life?" It's even affected my thoughts on things like charity and how I interact with people I consider underprivileged and less fortunate in life. In the past, I'd just give money to beggars on the street and/or the usual charities and barely give a second thought to the people I thought I was helping. Now I find that volunteering my time to actually do things for these people directly, meeting them face-to-face and learning about their lives and trying hard to show them you honestly CARE about them rather than about getting rid of them is a heck of a lot more fulfilling. Of course I still give money... after all, these people do have material needs that need to be met; but I no longer think that giving money absolves me of any future responsibility for them and to them. I have realized that these people don't want to be needy; they don't really want to have to need your money. They'd rather have enough to just get along with their lives, to live with dignity and respect, to be able to hold their heads up high and to look their children in the eye and say "Don't worry... we'll be ok." It's really not the money they want. The money is just a means to that better end. Now that I see this in my own life, I treat them a lot better than I used to, and I say a silent prayer in shame for all the people I just ignored along the way.

I guess the irony of it all is that, in seeking to make the money that would enable me to buy all the things I thought would make me better, I found out that I didn't want the same things anymore. I found out that I didn't even want money the same way anymore. I'm just grateful that I now have enough money to buy anything I want, because now I can isolate the material things from those that are REALLY important in life, the things you really can't buy no matter how much money you have. I don't have any real need to buy things anymore, because the real purpose of buying things is to make yourself happy, and I find I'm already quite happy, thank you. :) The other stuff just clutters my perspective. After all, once you've found the most perfect sight in the world, even the nicest car in the world would just be something that blocks your view.

Have a great day everyone! :)

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Tiger Woods

One of the things I am most inspired by is triumph over adversity. This year's US Open golf tournament just encapsulates everything about what inspires me most, and Tiger Woods is most certainly one of the reasons why I keep on striving for better things.

I've liked Tiger ever since his amateur days, and I honestly feel blessed to be living in an age when I can watch the greatest golfer in the world work his magic on the golf course. All too often we just hear about the great ones (ex. Wilt Chamberlain, Secretariat, Babe Ruth, etc.) without ever having had the chance to live the moment of their greatest successes. With Tiger, the opposite is true. We see and FEEL the moment of triumph, right at the second it happens, and I celebrate with him. It's such a thrill watching him line up a "do or die" putt on the last hole of the Open (well, the last regulation hole) all the while KNOWING he's going to make it. Such a high, I swear.

This year's Open was accomplished on a very painful leg, which made it all the more miraculous. I mean, for anyone who's ever played golf, just having a slight twitch can cause you massive trouble. Imagine walking a total over over 37,000 yards (all 4 rounds plus the playoff) on a recently surgically-repaired knee? Not to mention all the pain caused by the immense level of torque his body generates at impact? I can't even begin to imagine how painful that is. I mean, I've suffered intense pain before, and been injured numerous times while playing sports, but I've never risked permanent injury and overcome all that pain to beat the best in the world. That's just inspiring to me.

Each time I feel a bit satisfied with my success I just look to Tiger and push myself harder. He just pushes me to strive for greater things, to never be satisfied, and to never let obstacles become an excuse for failure.

Thanks again, Tiger, for showing me the way.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Poem: the samurai's sword

he held it with exquisite care
with fingers worn from wear
and a soul as old as the ocean's sigh...
he held it high
and proud, and with all the grace
of a strand of silk, floating in the space
of the memories of the night.

and then the sounds
grew... louder, distant drums as one
as the eagles and lions with men's limbs
came storming over the shore
that pain and countless more had dimmed
and which the waves barely found,
to that point at which his sword stood its ground,
even as its master prayed
for that fate that only ever awaits
those with destiny at their door.

and then the sounds grew still,
quiet as the graves that this day would fill,
and the world had only three sights:
one of crimson and of dread, of red
and the tiny drops of life that bled
out of each and every slice
as the wind whispered goodbye
to the stars, one by one,
as they winked out into the light.

oh how it weaved its magic spell
its heavenly voice singing a song
no one else could hear
whose meaning no one else
could tell
as it whistled its way round that long
autumn breeze on that clear dawning day
as the sword, with no one else to kill
sang its last quiet hymn
while the man that held its beauty and its breath
exhaled one last, final reverent moment
and then, just as quietly... fell.

Friday, April 04, 2008

Poem: the bridge between "you" and "you and i"

I haven't written a poem in ages... Guess I just either didn't have the time or the inspiration. So call this a belated addition to my many angsty thoughts on life. :)

* * * * *
the bridge between "you" and "you and i"

the chair you always say you liked
sits, cold and unwarmed
in the darkening april night
as empty as when
it first came into my life
now that you have left it
for the very last time.

it's funny how eloquent a silence can be
or how you fill my room still
even as you no longer step inside
and even as i no longer remember
whether your tears made a sound
or why my heart had to hide
each time you sobbed a heartfelt plea
to have me hold you in the dying light.

my arms could not move, you see
as full of futile feeling as
there is now emptiness in the night,
even as the moon spoke words of moonlight at
a world that had long ceased to open its eyes.

and every aching word you sought
to thaw away from me, as the winter slowly
melted its ice
would not flow so smoothly down
those jagged crags of rock that formed
the mask i wore outside.

somewhere, in the distant sky
a single whispered "sorry" dies
alight on the cowardly wings
of sorrow and regret, and i
took the bridge between the worlds
of "you" and "you and i"
and walked away long before
that whispered word could reach
your lonely, broken, weather-beaten door.

Saturday, March 29, 2008

The importance of words

I have this motto I live by: "Never listen to what a man tells you; Just watch what he does..."

I've always been a fan of actions over words, especially since I'm a debater, and I know how people can twist words to suit their ends.

However, of late, I'm realizing that words, sincere words, can have a great deal of worth too.

So for all those whom I have not yet told "thank you" to, I'd like to say "Thank you for being in my life, and helping to enrich it."

I've tried my best to show the people I most care about that I care about them, but just in case they really need me to say it too this is what this post is for.

Monday, March 24, 2008

Honesty is so much more refreshing

It's taken me quite a while to realize that the truth really does set you free. I don't mean for small things, of course, like telling your friend she has a bad haircut, or mentioning to the keynote speaker that his fly is open... nope. :) I'm talking about the REALLY important things in life.

The funny thing is, we spend so much time running away from the consequences of having to tell painful truths that we often end up with so many more unintended consequences... PLUS we're damn far from wherever we wanted to be in the first place. I guess it's really better to just be open and honest from the start, and let the chips fall where they may.

Of course, things COULD get worse for a while... but in the end, if the people you tell the truth to can't handle whatever it is you're saying, are they really the people you want to live with while tangled up in a web of lies? Put another way... if the only way certain people are willing to deal with you is if you hide who you really are with them, are they worth being with in the first place?

Honesty truly is the best policy. I didn't say the most painless... just the best.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Keeping a positive attitude

I will be more positive. I will. :)

What we need in the world is proportionality

I don't have a fancier term for it right now, but I have this particular philosophy with regard to relationships: proportionality.

I believe that the measure of what some act is worth is not so much any absolute value of the act (like price, etc.) but rather the intrinsic worth of that act to the person doing it, and the intent for which it was done.

For instance, a billionaire can easily buy a hundred diamond rings. So when he gives a girl one of them, just how special is that?

On the flip side, if a person of modest means (that's most people) decides to save up for months to buy a humble gold necklace... isn't that supposed to be worth a lot more?

I think part of the problems we have in life involves our unwillingness to judge people by the proportionality of their actions. Instead we seem to always want absolutes. All too often we hear things like "You only see me once a week," or, "You could have gotten me more flowers..." Whatever happened to, "I know this meant a lot to you, and took a lot from you, so I really, really appreciate it?"

* special personal note *
In any case, I know you're reading this, since you just told me you were, so I'd like to thank you for all the times you made the effort to do things for me, even if I sometimes didn't acknowledge them. I just hope you also realize how many times I really did do my best to do what I could. It may not have been much in the grand scheme of things, but it was a big chunk of what I had to give.
* end of special personal note *

Proportionality changes, mind you. As our lives change, so do our opportunities to interact with each other. So if it USED to be a big deal, but now more can be done but isn't, then suddenly that person you're doing things for is no longer really as important to you. However, the opposite holds true, if you had more time back then to do things for someone, but have since gotten more busy, doing the same thing requires greater sacrifice. So it should mean more.

Until I get a better name for it, it'll be this: Proportionality. It may not sound like much, but to me it means a whole lot.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Congratulations! :)

One of my ex-girlfriends just told me she's going to get married. :) I'm happy for her, and would like to extend her, and her future husband, all the best wishes in the world!

I don't know why, but when people you care about are really happy, it helps make you happy too. :)

Today is a good day.

Saturday, March 15, 2008

500+ friends on Facebook! :)

New milestone for me... over 500 friends on Facebook as of this weekend. :) Coolness.... ;)

Friday, March 14, 2008

Why I don't tell people about my day

It's just the same routine, pretty much... over and over. :) I don't know whether to be happy that life has stabilized or be sad that life is an endless cycle of boredom.

Here's what my day usually looks like:

1) Wake up
2) Check mail, read news
3) Eat
4) Check mail, read news, work
5) Work harder
6) Eat
7) Check mail, read news, work harder
8) Keep working
9) Eat
10) And the work keeps on coming...
11) Check mail, read news
12) Go to bed

Repeat the cycle the next day

See what I mean? :)

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

If you must dream, why not dream big?

My grandfather has a fantastic philosophy on life. I was just reminded of it today.

One day, after telling my mom about all the great things he would do if he ever won the lottery, my mom responded with something like, "Why are you dreaming so much? You should be more realistic and focus on more practical things." (My mom's an accountant...why do they all seem like that? :)

My grandfather replied, "They're MY dreams. Why shouldn't I dream big?"

:)

I love my grandfather. His philosophy is perfect for me. In fact, I can honestly say it's helped to shape my life. I have ALWAYS dreamed big; always challenged conventional wisdom. It's what has helped me achieve what I have. I don't pretend to be perfect, nor do I always achieve what I set out to do... but can I say that I've achieved MORE in life thinking the way my grandfather does? Absolutely. :)

We all need goals in our lives. The size and scope of these goals eventually SHAPE our lives. If you want to lead a "big" life, live big dreams. :) You might be surprised what you'll find you've accomplished once you wake up.

Monday, March 10, 2008

Re-activating this blog

I've decided to start writing regularly again. I don't know... I guess I miss the whole idea of setting my thoughts down somewhere. All my work has really distracted me from some of the things I normally love to do, including writing.

I'll try my best to make this a daily thing. :) Fingers crossed...

Beware... the Vatican announces 7 NEW deadly sins

I'm not making this one up. There are apparently new sins to worry about (as if the world didn't already have enough sinning going on). Here they are, listed along with the "old" sins that Pope Gregory laid out in the 6th century.

THE SEVEN DEADLY SINS

Old

Sloth
Envy
Gluttony
Greed
Lust
Wrath
Pride

New

Genetic modification
Carrying out experiments on humans
Polluting the environment
Causing social injustice
Causing poverty
Becoming obscenely wealthy
Taking drugs

To be honest, I'm not so sure I agree with the "obscenely wealthy" sin. I look at people like Warren Buffett (this year's richest man in the world according to Forbes magazine), and the fact that he's donating 85% of his wealth to charity, and that he's a really simple guy who's lived in the same home for 35 years, and I just can't imagine him burning in hell.

We also have the problem of degree. I mean, littering is polluting the environment. Should a person who drops a candy wrapper (non bio-degradable...tsk tsk) be a mortal sinner too? (I'm obviously being a bit sarcastic. I know that's not what they meant.)

But I firmly, completely agree with the "taking drugs" one. I know some of my friends will oppose me on this, but I believe that this should be a sin. Ironically, this puts Catholics in line with Muslim teachings... which do not allow any of the faith to take "mind-altering substances". We Catholics just happen to be about a thousand years late.