Hi everyone. I'm still here. As alive as I'll ever be, I guess, which right now doesn't seem to amount to too much. :)
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you all!
Friday, December 26, 2008
Sunday, August 24, 2008
The more you get, the less you want...
I have this particular philosophy about money and material things: the more you get, the less you want. The basic idea I have is that the more money I make, the less important material things seem to get in life. It's a bit funny, really. When I was younger, and less financially-able, I seemed to want so many things (ex. a nicer car, all the latest gadgets and the ability to eat anywhere I want and travel anywhere I want); as I got older and made enough to really be able to afford most of these things, I found out that buying them didn't seem as fun anymore.
It's as if part of the satisfaction was in the struggle. If I didn't have much, then those things that were out of my financial reach seemed to be so desirable, perhaps more because a part of me needed to feel good about myself rather than because it had any particular meaning to me. Once I could afford most of these things, the thrill of buying them seemed to diminish. I had less and less urgency, and the thought of buying what once seemed unreachable got kind of... boring? I don't know any other way to describe it. It just seems less interesting somehow.
That's when I realized that the purpose of wealth isn't to buy everything you want; wealth, instead, is meant for you to KNOW you can buy anything you want... that way, you don't need to feel like you need something to validate you. You can just move on to other challenges, because this one has already been achieved. For example, a few years back, I really liked the idea of flying business or first class. It felt like such a status symbol, I guess, and the idea of flying in greater comfort, with better food and better service, just seemed so much more appealing. Now that I CAN fly anywhere in the world on any class, it seems to be much less exciting for me. In fact, I honestly find myself choosing economy with much greater satisfaction than I ever had before. Why? Because I didn't HAVE to fly economy. I now CHOSE to fly economy. Does that make any sense?
I guess money should be viewed more as a great "enabler" of dreams, rather than a dream in itself. When we can't even have some of the "basic" things we see others have (ex. an iPod), we tend to feel a bit diminished, I guess. It's as if we have somehow failed ourselves because we didn't give ourselves as much as others give themselves; as if we somehow weren't "good enough" for whatever social circles we deemed necessary to be a part of. But once we get enough money to achieve just about any dream we used to have... our dreams no longer seem as fulfilling. I dread to think what Bill Gates thinks of at night. After all, when you find you can afford literally anything you want, what more is there for you to want?
So now I find much more satisfaction in things I CAN'T buy: making my friends and family happy; finding inner peace and contentment; and even small things such as setting a good example for the kids in my academy. Money just doesn't hold that much meaning anymore, to be honest. Each month I watch my money grow, I just think "Ok... I can buy more things, but what's my next great adventure going to be? How am I REALLY going to make a difference in life?" It's even affected my thoughts on things like charity and how I interact with people I consider underprivileged and less fortunate in life. In the past, I'd just give money to beggars on the street and/or the usual charities and barely give a second thought to the people I thought I was helping. Now I find that volunteering my time to actually do things for these people directly, meeting them face-to-face and learning about their lives and trying hard to show them you honestly CARE about them rather than about getting rid of them is a heck of a lot more fulfilling. Of course I still give money... after all, these people do have material needs that need to be met; but I no longer think that giving money absolves me of any future responsibility for them and to them. I have realized that these people don't want to be needy; they don't really want to have to need your money. They'd rather have enough to just get along with their lives, to live with dignity and respect, to be able to hold their heads up high and to look their children in the eye and say "Don't worry... we'll be ok." It's really not the money they want. The money is just a means to that better end. Now that I see this in my own life, I treat them a lot better than I used to, and I say a silent prayer in shame for all the people I just ignored along the way.
I guess the irony of it all is that, in seeking to make the money that would enable me to buy all the things I thought would make me better, I found out that I didn't want the same things anymore. I found out that I didn't even want money the same way anymore. I'm just grateful that I now have enough money to buy anything I want, because now I can isolate the material things from those that are REALLY important in life, the things you really can't buy no matter how much money you have. I don't have any real need to buy things anymore, because the real purpose of buying things is to make yourself happy, and I find I'm already quite happy, thank you. :) The other stuff just clutters my perspective. After all, once you've found the most perfect sight in the world, even the nicest car in the world would just be something that blocks your view.
Have a great day everyone! :)
It's as if part of the satisfaction was in the struggle. If I didn't have much, then those things that were out of my financial reach seemed to be so desirable, perhaps more because a part of me needed to feel good about myself rather than because it had any particular meaning to me. Once I could afford most of these things, the thrill of buying them seemed to diminish. I had less and less urgency, and the thought of buying what once seemed unreachable got kind of... boring? I don't know any other way to describe it. It just seems less interesting somehow.
That's when I realized that the purpose of wealth isn't to buy everything you want; wealth, instead, is meant for you to KNOW you can buy anything you want... that way, you don't need to feel like you need something to validate you. You can just move on to other challenges, because this one has already been achieved. For example, a few years back, I really liked the idea of flying business or first class. It felt like such a status symbol, I guess, and the idea of flying in greater comfort, with better food and better service, just seemed so much more appealing. Now that I CAN fly anywhere in the world on any class, it seems to be much less exciting for me. In fact, I honestly find myself choosing economy with much greater satisfaction than I ever had before. Why? Because I didn't HAVE to fly economy. I now CHOSE to fly economy. Does that make any sense?
I guess money should be viewed more as a great "enabler" of dreams, rather than a dream in itself. When we can't even have some of the "basic" things we see others have (ex. an iPod), we tend to feel a bit diminished, I guess. It's as if we have somehow failed ourselves because we didn't give ourselves as much as others give themselves; as if we somehow weren't "good enough" for whatever social circles we deemed necessary to be a part of. But once we get enough money to achieve just about any dream we used to have... our dreams no longer seem as fulfilling. I dread to think what Bill Gates thinks of at night. After all, when you find you can afford literally anything you want, what more is there for you to want?
So now I find much more satisfaction in things I CAN'T buy: making my friends and family happy; finding inner peace and contentment; and even small things such as setting a good example for the kids in my academy. Money just doesn't hold that much meaning anymore, to be honest. Each month I watch my money grow, I just think "Ok... I can buy more things, but what's my next great adventure going to be? How am I REALLY going to make a difference in life?" It's even affected my thoughts on things like charity and how I interact with people I consider underprivileged and less fortunate in life. In the past, I'd just give money to beggars on the street and/or the usual charities and barely give a second thought to the people I thought I was helping. Now I find that volunteering my time to actually do things for these people directly, meeting them face-to-face and learning about their lives and trying hard to show them you honestly CARE about them rather than about getting rid of them is a heck of a lot more fulfilling. Of course I still give money... after all, these people do have material needs that need to be met; but I no longer think that giving money absolves me of any future responsibility for them and to them. I have realized that these people don't want to be needy; they don't really want to have to need your money. They'd rather have enough to just get along with their lives, to live with dignity and respect, to be able to hold their heads up high and to look their children in the eye and say "Don't worry... we'll be ok." It's really not the money they want. The money is just a means to that better end. Now that I see this in my own life, I treat them a lot better than I used to, and I say a silent prayer in shame for all the people I just ignored along the way.
I guess the irony of it all is that, in seeking to make the money that would enable me to buy all the things I thought would make me better, I found out that I didn't want the same things anymore. I found out that I didn't even want money the same way anymore. I'm just grateful that I now have enough money to buy anything I want, because now I can isolate the material things from those that are REALLY important in life, the things you really can't buy no matter how much money you have. I don't have any real need to buy things anymore, because the real purpose of buying things is to make yourself happy, and I find I'm already quite happy, thank you. :) The other stuff just clutters my perspective. After all, once you've found the most perfect sight in the world, even the nicest car in the world would just be something that blocks your view.
Have a great day everyone! :)
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Tiger Woods
One of the things I am most inspired by is triumph over adversity. This year's US Open golf tournament just encapsulates everything about what inspires me most, and Tiger Woods is most certainly one of the reasons why I keep on striving for better things.
I've liked Tiger ever since his amateur days, and I honestly feel blessed to be living in an age when I can watch the greatest golfer in the world work his magic on the golf course. All too often we just hear about the great ones (ex. Wilt Chamberlain, Secretariat, Babe Ruth, etc.) without ever having had the chance to live the moment of their greatest successes. With Tiger, the opposite is true. We see and FEEL the moment of triumph, right at the second it happens, and I celebrate with him. It's such a thrill watching him line up a "do or die" putt on the last hole of the Open (well, the last regulation hole) all the while KNOWING he's going to make it. Such a high, I swear.
This year's Open was accomplished on a very painful leg, which made it all the more miraculous. I mean, for anyone who's ever played golf, just having a slight twitch can cause you massive trouble. Imagine walking a total over over 37,000 yards (all 4 rounds plus the playoff) on a recently surgically-repaired knee? Not to mention all the pain caused by the immense level of torque his body generates at impact? I can't even begin to imagine how painful that is. I mean, I've suffered intense pain before, and been injured numerous times while playing sports, but I've never risked permanent injury and overcome all that pain to beat the best in the world. That's just inspiring to me.
Each time I feel a bit satisfied with my success I just look to Tiger and push myself harder. He just pushes me to strive for greater things, to never be satisfied, and to never let obstacles become an excuse for failure.
Thanks again, Tiger, for showing me the way.
I've liked Tiger ever since his amateur days, and I honestly feel blessed to be living in an age when I can watch the greatest golfer in the world work his magic on the golf course. All too often we just hear about the great ones (ex. Wilt Chamberlain, Secretariat, Babe Ruth, etc.) without ever having had the chance to live the moment of their greatest successes. With Tiger, the opposite is true. We see and FEEL the moment of triumph, right at the second it happens, and I celebrate with him. It's such a thrill watching him line up a "do or die" putt on the last hole of the Open (well, the last regulation hole) all the while KNOWING he's going to make it. Such a high, I swear.
This year's Open was accomplished on a very painful leg, which made it all the more miraculous. I mean, for anyone who's ever played golf, just having a slight twitch can cause you massive trouble. Imagine walking a total over over 37,000 yards (all 4 rounds plus the playoff) on a recently surgically-repaired knee? Not to mention all the pain caused by the immense level of torque his body generates at impact? I can't even begin to imagine how painful that is. I mean, I've suffered intense pain before, and been injured numerous times while playing sports, but I've never risked permanent injury and overcome all that pain to beat the best in the world. That's just inspiring to me.
Each time I feel a bit satisfied with my success I just look to Tiger and push myself harder. He just pushes me to strive for greater things, to never be satisfied, and to never let obstacles become an excuse for failure.
Thanks again, Tiger, for showing me the way.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Poem: the samurai's sword
he held it with exquisite care
with fingers worn from wear
and a soul as old as the ocean's sigh...
he held it high
and proud, and with all the grace
of a strand of silk, floating in the space
of the memories of the night.
and then the sounds
grew... louder, distant drums as one
as the eagles and lions with men's limbs
came storming over the shore
that pain and countless more had dimmed
and which the waves barely found,
to that point at which his sword stood its ground,
even as its master prayed
for that fate that only ever awaits
those with destiny at their door.
and then the sounds grew still,
quiet as the graves that this day would fill,
and the world had only three sights:
one of crimson and of dread, of red
and the tiny drops of life that bled
out of each and every slice
as the wind whispered goodbye
to the stars, one by one,
as they winked out into the light.
oh how it weaved its magic spell
its heavenly voice singing a song
no one else could hear
whose meaning no one else
could tell
as it whistled its way round that long
autumn breeze on that clear dawning day
as the sword, with no one else to kill
sang its last quiet hymn
while the man that held its beauty and its breath
exhaled one last, final reverent moment
and then, just as quietly... fell.
with fingers worn from wear
and a soul as old as the ocean's sigh...
he held it high
and proud, and with all the grace
of a strand of silk, floating in the space
of the memories of the night.
and then the sounds
grew... louder, distant drums as one
as the eagles and lions with men's limbs
came storming over the shore
that pain and countless more had dimmed
and which the waves barely found,
to that point at which his sword stood its ground,
even as its master prayed
for that fate that only ever awaits
those with destiny at their door.
and then the sounds grew still,
quiet as the graves that this day would fill,
and the world had only three sights:
one of crimson and of dread, of red
and the tiny drops of life that bled
out of each and every slice
as the wind whispered goodbye
to the stars, one by one,
as they winked out into the light.
oh how it weaved its magic spell
its heavenly voice singing a song
no one else could hear
whose meaning no one else
could tell
as it whistled its way round that long
autumn breeze on that clear dawning day
as the sword, with no one else to kill
sang its last quiet hymn
while the man that held its beauty and its breath
exhaled one last, final reverent moment
and then, just as quietly... fell.
Sunday, April 06, 2008
Please, Lord, help the Lakers win the NBA championship... :)
Just a heartfelt plea from a life-long Lakers fan. :)
Friday, April 04, 2008
Poem: the bridge between "you" and "you and i"
I haven't written a poem in ages... Guess I just either didn't have the time or the inspiration. So call this a belated addition to my many angsty thoughts on life. :)
* * * * *
the bridge between "you" and "you and i"
the chair you always say you liked
sits, cold and unwarmed
in the darkening april night
as empty as when
it first came into my life
now that you have left it
for the very last time.
it's funny how eloquent a silence can be
or how you fill my room still
even as you no longer step inside
and even as i no longer remember
whether your tears made a sound
or why my heart had to hide
each time you sobbed a heartfelt plea
to have me hold you in the dying light.
my arms could not move, you see
as full of futile feeling as
there is now emptiness in the night,
even as the moon spoke words of moonlight at
a world that had long ceased to open its eyes.
and every aching word you sought
to thaw away from me, as the winter slowly
melted its ice
would not flow so smoothly down
those jagged crags of rock that formed
the mask i wore outside.
somewhere, in the distant sky
a single whispered "sorry" dies
alight on the cowardly wings
of sorrow and regret, and i
took the bridge between the worlds
of "you" and "you and i"
and walked away long before
that whispered word could reach
your lonely, broken, weather-beaten door.
* * * * *
the bridge between "you" and "you and i"
the chair you always say you liked
sits, cold and unwarmed
in the darkening april night
as empty as when
it first came into my life
now that you have left it
for the very last time.
it's funny how eloquent a silence can be
or how you fill my room still
even as you no longer step inside
and even as i no longer remember
whether your tears made a sound
or why my heart had to hide
each time you sobbed a heartfelt plea
to have me hold you in the dying light.
my arms could not move, you see
as full of futile feeling as
there is now emptiness in the night,
even as the moon spoke words of moonlight at
a world that had long ceased to open its eyes.
and every aching word you sought
to thaw away from me, as the winter slowly
melted its ice
would not flow so smoothly down
those jagged crags of rock that formed
the mask i wore outside.
somewhere, in the distant sky
a single whispered "sorry" dies
alight on the cowardly wings
of sorrow and regret, and i
took the bridge between the worlds
of "you" and "you and i"
and walked away long before
that whispered word could reach
your lonely, broken, weather-beaten door.
Saturday, March 29, 2008
The importance of words
I have this motto I live by: "Never listen to what a man tells you; Just watch what he does..."
I've always been a fan of actions over words, especially since I'm a debater, and I know how people can twist words to suit their ends.
However, of late, I'm realizing that words, sincere words, can have a great deal of worth too.
So for all those whom I have not yet told "thank you" to, I'd like to say "Thank you for being in my life, and helping to enrich it."
I've tried my best to show the people I most care about that I care about them, but just in case they really need me to say it too this is what this post is for.
I've always been a fan of actions over words, especially since I'm a debater, and I know how people can twist words to suit their ends.
However, of late, I'm realizing that words, sincere words, can have a great deal of worth too.
So for all those whom I have not yet told "thank you" to, I'd like to say "Thank you for being in my life, and helping to enrich it."
I've tried my best to show the people I most care about that I care about them, but just in case they really need me to say it too this is what this post is for.
Monday, March 24, 2008
Honesty is so much more refreshing
It's taken me quite a while to realize that the truth really does set you free. I don't mean for small things, of course, like telling your friend she has a bad haircut, or mentioning to the keynote speaker that his fly is open... nope. :) I'm talking about the REALLY important things in life.
The funny thing is, we spend so much time running away from the consequences of having to tell painful truths that we often end up with so many more unintended consequences... PLUS we're damn far from wherever we wanted to be in the first place. I guess it's really better to just be open and honest from the start, and let the chips fall where they may.
Of course, things COULD get worse for a while... but in the end, if the people you tell the truth to can't handle whatever it is you're saying, are they really the people you want to live with while tangled up in a web of lies? Put another way... if the only way certain people are willing to deal with you is if you hide who you really are with them, are they worth being with in the first place?
Honesty truly is the best policy. I didn't say the most painless... just the best.
The funny thing is, we spend so much time running away from the consequences of having to tell painful truths that we often end up with so many more unintended consequences... PLUS we're damn far from wherever we wanted to be in the first place. I guess it's really better to just be open and honest from the start, and let the chips fall where they may.
Of course, things COULD get worse for a while... but in the end, if the people you tell the truth to can't handle whatever it is you're saying, are they really the people you want to live with while tangled up in a web of lies? Put another way... if the only way certain people are willing to deal with you is if you hide who you really are with them, are they worth being with in the first place?
Honesty truly is the best policy. I didn't say the most painless... just the best.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
What we need in the world is proportionality
I don't have a fancier term for it right now, but I have this particular philosophy with regard to relationships: proportionality.
I believe that the measure of what some act is worth is not so much any absolute value of the act (like price, etc.) but rather the intrinsic worth of that act to the person doing it, and the intent for which it was done.
For instance, a billionaire can easily buy a hundred diamond rings. So when he gives a girl one of them, just how special is that?
On the flip side, if a person of modest means (that's most people) decides to save up for months to buy a humble gold necklace... isn't that supposed to be worth a lot more?
I think part of the problems we have in life involves our unwillingness to judge people by the proportionality of their actions. Instead we seem to always want absolutes. All too often we hear things like "You only see me once a week," or, "You could have gotten me more flowers..." Whatever happened to, "I know this meant a lot to you, and took a lot from you, so I really, really appreciate it?"
* special personal note *
In any case, I know you're reading this, since you just told me you were, so I'd like to thank you for all the times you made the effort to do things for me, even if I sometimes didn't acknowledge them. I just hope you also realize how many times I really did do my best to do what I could. It may not have been much in the grand scheme of things, but it was a big chunk of what I had to give.
* end of special personal note *
Proportionality changes, mind you. As our lives change, so do our opportunities to interact with each other. So if it USED to be a big deal, but now more can be done but isn't, then suddenly that person you're doing things for is no longer really as important to you. However, the opposite holds true, if you had more time back then to do things for someone, but have since gotten more busy, doing the same thing requires greater sacrifice. So it should mean more.
Until I get a better name for it, it'll be this: Proportionality. It may not sound like much, but to me it means a whole lot.
I believe that the measure of what some act is worth is not so much any absolute value of the act (like price, etc.) but rather the intrinsic worth of that act to the person doing it, and the intent for which it was done.
For instance, a billionaire can easily buy a hundred diamond rings. So when he gives a girl one of them, just how special is that?
On the flip side, if a person of modest means (that's most people) decides to save up for months to buy a humble gold necklace... isn't that supposed to be worth a lot more?
I think part of the problems we have in life involves our unwillingness to judge people by the proportionality of their actions. Instead we seem to always want absolutes. All too often we hear things like "You only see me once a week," or, "You could have gotten me more flowers..." Whatever happened to, "I know this meant a lot to you, and took a lot from you, so I really, really appreciate it?"
* special personal note *
In any case, I know you're reading this, since you just told me you were, so I'd like to thank you for all the times you made the effort to do things for me, even if I sometimes didn't acknowledge them. I just hope you also realize how many times I really did do my best to do what I could. It may not have been much in the grand scheme of things, but it was a big chunk of what I had to give.
* end of special personal note *
Proportionality changes, mind you. As our lives change, so do our opportunities to interact with each other. So if it USED to be a big deal, but now more can be done but isn't, then suddenly that person you're doing things for is no longer really as important to you. However, the opposite holds true, if you had more time back then to do things for someone, but have since gotten more busy, doing the same thing requires greater sacrifice. So it should mean more.
Until I get a better name for it, it'll be this: Proportionality. It may not sound like much, but to me it means a whole lot.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Congratulations! :)
One of my ex-girlfriends just told me she's going to get married. :) I'm happy for her, and would like to extend her, and her future husband, all the best wishes in the world!
I don't know why, but when people you care about are really happy, it helps make you happy too. :)
Today is a good day.
I don't know why, but when people you care about are really happy, it helps make you happy too. :)
Today is a good day.
Saturday, March 15, 2008
500+ friends on Facebook! :)
New milestone for me... over 500 friends on Facebook as of this weekend. :) Coolness.... ;)
Friday, March 14, 2008
Why I don't tell people about my day
It's just the same routine, pretty much... over and over. :) I don't know whether to be happy that life has stabilized or be sad that life is an endless cycle of boredom.
Here's what my day usually looks like:
1) Wake up
2) Check mail, read news
3) Eat
4) Check mail, read news, work
5) Work harder
6) Eat
7) Check mail, read news, work harder
8) Keep working
9) Eat
10) And the work keeps on coming...
11) Check mail, read news
12) Go to bed
Repeat the cycle the next day
See what I mean? :)
Here's what my day usually looks like:
1) Wake up
2) Check mail, read news
3) Eat
4) Check mail, read news, work
5) Work harder
6) Eat
7) Check mail, read news, work harder
8) Keep working
9) Eat
10) And the work keeps on coming...
11) Check mail, read news
12) Go to bed
Repeat the cycle the next day
See what I mean? :)
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
If you must dream, why not dream big?
My grandfather has a fantastic philosophy on life. I was just reminded of it today.
One day, after telling my mom about all the great things he would do if he ever won the lottery, my mom responded with something like, "Why are you dreaming so much? You should be more realistic and focus on more practical things." (My mom's an accountant...why do they all seem like that? :)
My grandfather replied, "They're MY dreams. Why shouldn't I dream big?"
:)
I love my grandfather. His philosophy is perfect for me. In fact, I can honestly say it's helped to shape my life. I have ALWAYS dreamed big; always challenged conventional wisdom. It's what has helped me achieve what I have. I don't pretend to be perfect, nor do I always achieve what I set out to do... but can I say that I've achieved MORE in life thinking the way my grandfather does? Absolutely. :)
We all need goals in our lives. The size and scope of these goals eventually SHAPE our lives. If you want to lead a "big" life, live big dreams. :) You might be surprised what you'll find you've accomplished once you wake up.
One day, after telling my mom about all the great things he would do if he ever won the lottery, my mom responded with something like, "Why are you dreaming so much? You should be more realistic and focus on more practical things." (My mom's an accountant...why do they all seem like that? :)
My grandfather replied, "They're MY dreams. Why shouldn't I dream big?"
:)
I love my grandfather. His philosophy is perfect for me. In fact, I can honestly say it's helped to shape my life. I have ALWAYS dreamed big; always challenged conventional wisdom. It's what has helped me achieve what I have. I don't pretend to be perfect, nor do I always achieve what I set out to do... but can I say that I've achieved MORE in life thinking the way my grandfather does? Absolutely. :)
We all need goals in our lives. The size and scope of these goals eventually SHAPE our lives. If you want to lead a "big" life, live big dreams. :) You might be surprised what you'll find you've accomplished once you wake up.
Monday, March 10, 2008
Re-activating this blog
I've decided to start writing regularly again. I don't know... I guess I miss the whole idea of setting my thoughts down somewhere. All my work has really distracted me from some of the things I normally love to do, including writing.
I'll try my best to make this a daily thing. :) Fingers crossed...
I'll try my best to make this a daily thing. :) Fingers crossed...
Beware... the Vatican announces 7 NEW deadly sins
I'm not making this one up. There are apparently new sins to worry about (as if the world didn't already have enough sinning going on). Here they are, listed along with the "old" sins that Pope Gregory laid out in the 6th century.
THE SEVEN DEADLY SINS
Old
Sloth
Envy
Gluttony
Greed
Lust
Wrath
Pride
New
Genetic modification
Carrying out experiments on humans
Polluting the environment
Causing social injustice
Causing poverty
Becoming obscenely wealthy
Taking drugs
To be honest, I'm not so sure I agree with the "obscenely wealthy" sin. I look at people like Warren Buffett (this year's richest man in the world according to Forbes magazine), and the fact that he's donating 85% of his wealth to charity, and that he's a really simple guy who's lived in the same home for 35 years, and I just can't imagine him burning in hell.
We also have the problem of degree. I mean, littering is polluting the environment. Should a person who drops a candy wrapper (non bio-degradable...tsk tsk) be a mortal sinner too? (I'm obviously being a bit sarcastic. I know that's not what they meant.)
But I firmly, completely agree with the "taking drugs" one. I know some of my friends will oppose me on this, but I believe that this should be a sin. Ironically, this puts Catholics in line with Muslim teachings... which do not allow any of the faith to take "mind-altering substances". We Catholics just happen to be about a thousand years late.
THE SEVEN DEADLY SINS
Old
Sloth
Envy
Gluttony
Greed
Lust
Wrath
Pride
New
Genetic modification
Carrying out experiments on humans
Polluting the environment
Causing social injustice
Causing poverty
Becoming obscenely wealthy
Taking drugs
To be honest, I'm not so sure I agree with the "obscenely wealthy" sin. I look at people like Warren Buffett (this year's richest man in the world according to Forbes magazine), and the fact that he's donating 85% of his wealth to charity, and that he's a really simple guy who's lived in the same home for 35 years, and I just can't imagine him burning in hell.
We also have the problem of degree. I mean, littering is polluting the environment. Should a person who drops a candy wrapper (non bio-degradable...tsk tsk) be a mortal sinner too? (I'm obviously being a bit sarcastic. I know that's not what they meant.)
But I firmly, completely agree with the "taking drugs" one. I know some of my friends will oppose me on this, but I believe that this should be a sin. Ironically, this puts Catholics in line with Muslim teachings... which do not allow any of the faith to take "mind-altering substances". We Catholics just happen to be about a thousand years late.
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Young adopted child abandoned by her adoptive parents, one of whom is a Dutch diplomat
This person and his wife should be ashamed of themselves. This is outrageous!
For those of you who have high-blood pressure and don't want to get upset, please do NOT read any further. This case infuriated me, and if I ever meet with this man and his wife, I swear I will let him know exactly how insufferable this is. What a disgrace to humanity and common decency these two are!
* * * * *
(Source: Chosun Ilbo)
The case of an eight-year old Korean girl who was adopted and later dumped by a Dutch diplomatic couple has caused an international outcry. Born in Daegu, Jade is now in danger of ending up a displaced orphan in Hong Kong, as her adoptive parents allegedly decided she did not “fit in” seven years after they adopted her as an infant. Jade was adopted at the age of four months in January 2000 by the Dutch diplomat, who was working in South Korea, and his wife. At the time, the woman reportedly believed she was infertile, but the couple have since had two children of their own. They moved to Hong Kong in July 2004 and early last year decided they did not want Jade any more and left her in the care of Hong Kong’s Social Welfare Department.
Since then, Jade has been shunted from home to home, living sometimes at the home of a foreign missionary or at a welfare center. Since September, three people including a South Korean woman married to an American and a Hong Kong resident of North Korean descent have expressed interest in adopting Jade. But their wishes were frustrated due to complicated adoption requirements. Jade was for some reason not given Dutch citizenship by her adoptive parents, nor does she have residence rights in Hong Kong. She cannot speak Korean, only English and Cantonese.
The case made international headlines when the Hong Kong and Dutch press published the story together with the names and photographs of Raymond Poeteray (55) and his wife. Dutch daily De Telegraaf said Jade had been discarded like “a piece of household rubbish.'" The South China Morning Post of Hong Kong on Saturday carried an interview with an Indonesian woman who worked as a nanny for Jade in Jakarta, where Poeteray was posted before coming to Hong Kong, in 2004. She said the couple treated Jade quite differently from their own children and the woman rarely hugged the girl.
Hilbrand Westra, a coordinator for United Adoptees International Netherlands, said the Dutch government was now responsible for the girl's fate and welfare. Global Overseas Adoptees' Link (GOAL) urged both the South Korean and Dutch governments to conduct a thorough investigation, saying, "Children are not refundable. Adoption is a lifelong promise."
The Poeterays have written to the Telegraaf in their defense. "After our daughter came to our family we found it was hard to make real contact with her... in 2004 Hong Kong medical specialists diagnosed that she suffered from fear of bonding in a severe form," they wrote. "Despite what was written in the media we are not trying to get rid of our daughter and have not formally given her up.”
But the Dutch Foreign Ministry last Friday temporarily recalled Poeteray, a vice consul at the Consulate General. A spokesman for the ministry said the matter was “a private and domestic matter” and there were no legal concerns. However, the decision was apparently triggered by to the glare of international media attention.
Meanwhile, Korean residents in Hong Kong are furious. They are demanding the Poeterays tell the whole truth or the Dutch government apologize. They also urged the South Korean government to treat the matter as a diplomatic issue.
For those of you who have high-blood pressure and don't want to get upset, please do NOT read any further. This case infuriated me, and if I ever meet with this man and his wife, I swear I will let him know exactly how insufferable this is. What a disgrace to humanity and common decency these two are!
* * * * *
(Source: Chosun Ilbo)
The case of an eight-year old Korean girl who was adopted and later dumped by a Dutch diplomatic couple has caused an international outcry. Born in Daegu, Jade is now in danger of ending up a displaced orphan in Hong Kong, as her adoptive parents allegedly decided she did not “fit in” seven years after they adopted her as an infant. Jade was adopted at the age of four months in January 2000 by the Dutch diplomat, who was working in South Korea, and his wife. At the time, the woman reportedly believed she was infertile, but the couple have since had two children of their own. They moved to Hong Kong in July 2004 and early last year decided they did not want Jade any more and left her in the care of Hong Kong’s Social Welfare Department.
Since then, Jade has been shunted from home to home, living sometimes at the home of a foreign missionary or at a welfare center. Since September, three people including a South Korean woman married to an American and a Hong Kong resident of North Korean descent have expressed interest in adopting Jade. But their wishes were frustrated due to complicated adoption requirements. Jade was for some reason not given Dutch citizenship by her adoptive parents, nor does she have residence rights in Hong Kong. She cannot speak Korean, only English and Cantonese.
The case made international headlines when the Hong Kong and Dutch press published the story together with the names and photographs of Raymond Poeteray (55) and his wife. Dutch daily De Telegraaf said Jade had been discarded like “a piece of household rubbish.'" The South China Morning Post of Hong Kong on Saturday carried an interview with an Indonesian woman who worked as a nanny for Jade in Jakarta, where Poeteray was posted before coming to Hong Kong, in 2004. She said the couple treated Jade quite differently from their own children and the woman rarely hugged the girl.
Hilbrand Westra, a coordinator for United Adoptees International Netherlands, said the Dutch government was now responsible for the girl's fate and welfare. Global Overseas Adoptees' Link (GOAL) urged both the South Korean and Dutch governments to conduct a thorough investigation, saying, "Children are not refundable. Adoption is a lifelong promise."
The Poeterays have written to the Telegraaf in their defense. "After our daughter came to our family we found it was hard to make real contact with her... in 2004 Hong Kong medical specialists diagnosed that she suffered from fear of bonding in a severe form," they wrote. "Despite what was written in the media we are not trying to get rid of our daughter and have not formally given her up.”
But the Dutch Foreign Ministry last Friday temporarily recalled Poeteray, a vice consul at the Consulate General. A spokesman for the ministry said the matter was “a private and domestic matter” and there were no legal concerns. However, the decision was apparently triggered by to the glare of international media attention.
Meanwhile, Korean residents in Hong Kong are furious. They are demanding the Poeterays tell the whole truth or the Dutch government apologize. They also urged the South Korean government to treat the matter as a diplomatic issue.
Friday, November 23, 2007
On fate and the choices we make
I've consistently maintained, over the past decade or so, that there is no such thing as "fate" or a pre-determined set of outcomes for one's life. Even as a Catholic who believes in God, I still find it impossible to believe that God would grant human beings their freedom in an imperfect way. I mean, how would THAT conversation have gone? "Hi, human race... God here... So, I'm going to let all of you go about and do whatever you want, and be free to love me or not, but hey, some of you I've already decided will become saints, and others will become thieves, murderers, despots and George W. Bush."
I mean, c'mon. With the exception of Bush, whose idiocy seems either fated or just plain inevitable, everything else there would seem to really contradict the entire concept of "free to do whatever you want". Either God gave us freedom or he didn't. I don't see it being anything half-way. I'm kind of a religious existentialist in that regard; someone who believes in God, but who thinks that everything he has and will become depends entirely on his own choices.
But what about those times when it seems as if things were just "meant to be"? Meeting a soul mate, finding true love, discovering oil in your backyard as you plant the only tree you've ever planted in you life... aren't all these signs that fate must surely be involved? Why did that car get hit in the accident, and not mine? God must love me, right? (What, God didn't love the other guy?) Ummmm... are you kidding me? :)
I think that life does have those moments when we seem to be gifted with a lucky or unlucky occurence. But how we react, what choices we make, and what paths we choose to take ultimately determine what will happen to us. I don't believe in pure, dumb luck. I believe that, if our lives have to have meaning, we shouldn't make any important life decisions on the concept of what we are "fated" to do. Otherwise people from bad environments, with no initial money in hand, should all just give up and become criminals. It doesn't have to be this way, really.
For instance, take that car accident example earlier. Many accidents on the road happen because people are drunk (they weren't "fated" to drink that alcohol), sleepy (they weren't "fated" to stay up all night watching TV), or had malfunctioning car parts, such as bad tires (they weren't "fated" to NOT be checked-up regularly or replaced by new, more reliable tires). Many deaths are attributed to the fact that victims didn't wear their seatbelts (they weren't "fated" to not buckle-up). I mean, really, it's either your fault or someone else's fault. It's not God's fault.
That's the key: not thinking of anything as "God's fault", because thinking that way basically takes away your own power over your life. It makes you fatalistic (there's a reason "fate" is the root word there). You give up your own independence and freedom, and you say "Oh, well... it was/wasn't meant to be." Really now? Why/Why not?
So if your business fails, your relationship ends, your test scores come back and you've bombed, it might be good to stop believing that God is trying to punish you (trust me, He's got better ways to do it, and a lot of it involves fire and brimstone...) and instead start believing in your own power over your destiny. Either work harder to change your life, or give up those things which you don't honestly care about in the first place. There's a reason Bill Gates is the richest man in the world right now, even though he dropped out of Harvard and never got his college diploma.... well, he dropped out of Harvard. :) He took a chance, decided to control his own life, founded Microsoft and the rest, as they say, is history.
He certainly seemed "fated" to live a good life. He came from a good family and was studying in, arguably, the most famous and most prestigious university in the world. Wouldn't his life have been just great if he had stayed, graduated, and worked for some big company, rising through the ranks as an executive and, hopefully one day, CEO?
He didn't see it that way, though. Instead he thought, "I'll be a CEO today!" and founded his own company, starting off with nothing but an idea and a dream, and created the company most singularly responsible for getting people to curse at their (blue) computer screens. :) Now how about that for fate, eh?
Don't believe people who say you have no control. Don't believe people who say your life is "over". If that were true, then Tim Allen, the famous comedian and actor, wouldn't be a multi-millionaire right now. After all, he was arrested and convicted of dealing drugs and went to prison before he even started doing comedy and acting. Prison, folks... He's a convicted felon. Did that stop him from taking charge of his life when he got out and becoming a tremendous success? Heck, no!
Things don't even have to be as dramatic in your own life. It could be as simple as deciding to be friendlier to everybody each day, so that maybe one day in the future one of your new friends helps you get a better job. Isn't it obvious that the friendliest people are very often among the "luckiest" people? Or are you still moaning about that dude who got offered that job that YOU were more qualified for only because he knew, and was friends with, the boss? What, like friendship is an exclusive concept? You couldn't be just a bit nicer and frindlier throughout your life, and not just on the day you wanted the job? Think about it.
Lastly, to those who say, "But my family isn't rich, powerful or connected" I say the following: you may not always start out where you want, and that's not your fault (unless babies can somehow switch wombs before birth, in which case all rich, powerful women would probably start having octuplets or something), but where you end up is ENTIRELY your fault and your own call. Abraham Lincoln never graduated from elementary school. Beethoven was almost totally deaf when he wrote his Ninth Symphony. If you want a contemporary example, how about Muhammad Yunus, the Nobel Peace Prize winner who set up the Grameen Bank, created the concept of "micro-credit" and made a positive impact on millions of lives? He didn't need to do what he did, and he certainly wasn't "fated" to meet with poor people. Many, many people do that everyday. The difference is he made the choice to help, and the fact that he also made previous life-choices that enabled him to get a first-rate education in economics also helped. He put himself in a real position to be able to make a difference, and he did so because he chose to do so. Many richer, more famous, more powerful people are put into contact with underprivileged people, but how many make the active choice to devote their lives to helping make a difference?
Decide what to do with your life. Do it today. Don't waste another moment on the concept that you are meant to be the way you are. If you are happy with yourself, and totally satisfied, then fine. But how many of us really are? If there's something, anything, that makes you unhappy or makes you wish for something better... well, CHOOSE to change it. And to those who say things like, "But my boyfriend doesn't love me and I want him to love me!" I say, "He's made his choice." Now it's really up to you to decide if you want to remain in a love-less relationship or if you should move on and decide to find someone who will really care about you and respect you. Unless, of course, you believe God just wanted you to be miserable. As far as I'm concerned the only question you should be asking is "Do I want to be miserable?" Because if the answer is "no" then you ought to start walking down a different path.
After all, if you're on the road the Hell, shouldn't you turn around and walk the other way? =)
I mean, c'mon. With the exception of Bush, whose idiocy seems either fated or just plain inevitable, everything else there would seem to really contradict the entire concept of "free to do whatever you want". Either God gave us freedom or he didn't. I don't see it being anything half-way. I'm kind of a religious existentialist in that regard; someone who believes in God, but who thinks that everything he has and will become depends entirely on his own choices.
But what about those times when it seems as if things were just "meant to be"? Meeting a soul mate, finding true love, discovering oil in your backyard as you plant the only tree you've ever planted in you life... aren't all these signs that fate must surely be involved? Why did that car get hit in the accident, and not mine? God must love me, right? (What, God didn't love the other guy?) Ummmm... are you kidding me? :)
I think that life does have those moments when we seem to be gifted with a lucky or unlucky occurence. But how we react, what choices we make, and what paths we choose to take ultimately determine what will happen to us. I don't believe in pure, dumb luck. I believe that, if our lives have to have meaning, we shouldn't make any important life decisions on the concept of what we are "fated" to do. Otherwise people from bad environments, with no initial money in hand, should all just give up and become criminals. It doesn't have to be this way, really.
For instance, take that car accident example earlier. Many accidents on the road happen because people are drunk (they weren't "fated" to drink that alcohol), sleepy (they weren't "fated" to stay up all night watching TV), or had malfunctioning car parts, such as bad tires (they weren't "fated" to NOT be checked-up regularly or replaced by new, more reliable tires). Many deaths are attributed to the fact that victims didn't wear their seatbelts (they weren't "fated" to not buckle-up). I mean, really, it's either your fault or someone else's fault. It's not God's fault.
That's the key: not thinking of anything as "God's fault", because thinking that way basically takes away your own power over your life. It makes you fatalistic (there's a reason "fate" is the root word there). You give up your own independence and freedom, and you say "Oh, well... it was/wasn't meant to be." Really now? Why/Why not?
So if your business fails, your relationship ends, your test scores come back and you've bombed, it might be good to stop believing that God is trying to punish you (trust me, He's got better ways to do it, and a lot of it involves fire and brimstone...) and instead start believing in your own power over your destiny. Either work harder to change your life, or give up those things which you don't honestly care about in the first place. There's a reason Bill Gates is the richest man in the world right now, even though he dropped out of Harvard and never got his college diploma.... well, he dropped out of Harvard. :) He took a chance, decided to control his own life, founded Microsoft and the rest, as they say, is history.
He certainly seemed "fated" to live a good life. He came from a good family and was studying in, arguably, the most famous and most prestigious university in the world. Wouldn't his life have been just great if he had stayed, graduated, and worked for some big company, rising through the ranks as an executive and, hopefully one day, CEO?
He didn't see it that way, though. Instead he thought, "I'll be a CEO today!" and founded his own company, starting off with nothing but an idea and a dream, and created the company most singularly responsible for getting people to curse at their (blue) computer screens. :) Now how about that for fate, eh?
Don't believe people who say you have no control. Don't believe people who say your life is "over". If that were true, then Tim Allen, the famous comedian and actor, wouldn't be a multi-millionaire right now. After all, he was arrested and convicted of dealing drugs and went to prison before he even started doing comedy and acting. Prison, folks... He's a convicted felon. Did that stop him from taking charge of his life when he got out and becoming a tremendous success? Heck, no!
Things don't even have to be as dramatic in your own life. It could be as simple as deciding to be friendlier to everybody each day, so that maybe one day in the future one of your new friends helps you get a better job. Isn't it obvious that the friendliest people are very often among the "luckiest" people? Or are you still moaning about that dude who got offered that job that YOU were more qualified for only because he knew, and was friends with, the boss? What, like friendship is an exclusive concept? You couldn't be just a bit nicer and frindlier throughout your life, and not just on the day you wanted the job? Think about it.
Lastly, to those who say, "But my family isn't rich, powerful or connected" I say the following: you may not always start out where you want, and that's not your fault (unless babies can somehow switch wombs before birth, in which case all rich, powerful women would probably start having octuplets or something), but where you end up is ENTIRELY your fault and your own call. Abraham Lincoln never graduated from elementary school. Beethoven was almost totally deaf when he wrote his Ninth Symphony. If you want a contemporary example, how about Muhammad Yunus, the Nobel Peace Prize winner who set up the Grameen Bank, created the concept of "micro-credit" and made a positive impact on millions of lives? He didn't need to do what he did, and he certainly wasn't "fated" to meet with poor people. Many, many people do that everyday. The difference is he made the choice to help, and the fact that he also made previous life-choices that enabled him to get a first-rate education in economics also helped. He put himself in a real position to be able to make a difference, and he did so because he chose to do so. Many richer, more famous, more powerful people are put into contact with underprivileged people, but how many make the active choice to devote their lives to helping make a difference?
Decide what to do with your life. Do it today. Don't waste another moment on the concept that you are meant to be the way you are. If you are happy with yourself, and totally satisfied, then fine. But how many of us really are? If there's something, anything, that makes you unhappy or makes you wish for something better... well, CHOOSE to change it. And to those who say things like, "But my boyfriend doesn't love me and I want him to love me!" I say, "He's made his choice." Now it's really up to you to decide if you want to remain in a love-less relationship or if you should move on and decide to find someone who will really care about you and respect you. Unless, of course, you believe God just wanted you to be miserable. As far as I'm concerned the only question you should be asking is "Do I want to be miserable?" Because if the answer is "no" then you ought to start walking down a different path.
After all, if you're on the road the Hell, shouldn't you turn around and walk the other way? =)
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
The importance of integrity in education
My dad gave me sage advice one day. "Whatever you do, don't ever compromise your integrity. At the end of the day, your reputation is more important than money."
It never ceases to surprise me what certain people will do for a buck. I'm not trying to be judgemental of those who have to make difficult choices because of need; rather, I'm referring to those who already have enough to live a decent life, but who are greedy enough to lie, cheat, steal or basically con people out of their own hard-earned money or to gain advantages for themselves and/or their families.
Just recently a Korean newspaper reported a "scandal" involving a top high school near Seoul that was involved in the leaking of entrance exam questions to both private academy owners and a parent of one of the involved children (who, naturally, passed the exam). This isn't the first time such a leak occured, and I've wondered just what drives people to do this. Why compromise a lifetime of work in the education sector (the school's admissions director is on the run from the law) just for a few bucks? Why risk your son/daughter's future by getting them involved in potentially criminal activity? For what reason should anyone allow an unqualified student into a prestigious school, risking both the school's reputation and the mental well-being of the student himself/herself?
I just think the mania engulfing education in Korea is getting dangerously close to a tipping point. I'm of the opinion that, within the next decade or so, a lot of regulatory changes will occur, and even the private education industry (including my business) will come under greater and greater scrutiny. It is in the best interests of anyone wishing to get involved in education to clean up his/her own act, and to focus a bit more on providing an excellent product without compromising on one's own integrity. I mean, we're teaching this kids to be better students, right? Why set the example of being bad educators?
It never ceases to surprise me what certain people will do for a buck. I'm not trying to be judgemental of those who have to make difficult choices because of need; rather, I'm referring to those who already have enough to live a decent life, but who are greedy enough to lie, cheat, steal or basically con people out of their own hard-earned money or to gain advantages for themselves and/or their families.
Just recently a Korean newspaper reported a "scandal" involving a top high school near Seoul that was involved in the leaking of entrance exam questions to both private academy owners and a parent of one of the involved children (who, naturally, passed the exam). This isn't the first time such a leak occured, and I've wondered just what drives people to do this. Why compromise a lifetime of work in the education sector (the school's admissions director is on the run from the law) just for a few bucks? Why risk your son/daughter's future by getting them involved in potentially criminal activity? For what reason should anyone allow an unqualified student into a prestigious school, risking both the school's reputation and the mental well-being of the student himself/herself?
I just think the mania engulfing education in Korea is getting dangerously close to a tipping point. I'm of the opinion that, within the next decade or so, a lot of regulatory changes will occur, and even the private education industry (including my business) will come under greater and greater scrutiny. It is in the best interests of anyone wishing to get involved in education to clean up his/her own act, and to focus a bit more on providing an excellent product without compromising on one's own integrity. I mean, we're teaching this kids to be better students, right? Why set the example of being bad educators?
Thursday, November 08, 2007
The road less travelled...
Frost has always been one of my favorite poets, more so because I find myself identifying with many of the things he wrote.
One of the most "true" poems he's ever written would be "The Road Not Taken", not because it's so famous, but more because it is a pretty accurate picture of how decisions in life can impact your future.
I never could imagine myself living and working in Korea, for example, just 6 short years ago. I was a business consultant, tired of the grind, seeking new things in life. I accepted a one-year job offer to teach in Thailand's top private university mainly to explore new horizons, and to (admittedly) escape the stress of a job I was growing to like less and less.
One year stretched to four, however, and Thailand became not just a pit-stop, but more like a destination for life. I love that country so much, and I plan on retiring there. I still go there maybe twice or thrice a year, just to take a break, and I love everything about it: the food, the people, the general atmosphere of relaxed living.
Why then did I find myself in Korea? I've been asked this very question many times over, and I find that I have no real answer except that I liked the challenge of contributing to a national debate program in disarray, and I further liked the opportunity to work with very bright, very eager and very, very determined students. Plus, in many respects, Korea is almost the complete opposite of Thailand, and I wanted to see just how I would (or even if I could) adapt to such a great new challenge. If Thailand is my "safe" choice, the one that I'm sure I would always love, Korea is my "road less travelled".
It hasn't always been easy. I'm not even sure it's easy even now. :) I've battled prejudice, racial stereotyping, outright rejection of my ethnicity (from taxi drivers all the way to university professors) and even direct insults from old people on the subway. I've been victimized by unscrupulous people who tried to take advantage of me, and been used by people I'd come to trust. It's been an interesting set of experiences, to say the least, but I'm still here and I'm not intending to leave anytime soon. :) Heck, I've even started a business here, so I definitely am not planning on skipping town for a while yet.
I guess the whole idea Frost had of going down a path and finding it harder and harder to turn back and restart one's life afresh is resonating with me now. The more I sacrifice to endure things here, and to learn to adjust and adapt (i.e. learning the language, the culture and so on), the more I find it harder and harder to turn back. I just don't want to give up on Korea until I prove to myself that I can be a success and be accepted for such by mainstream Korean society. Call me stubborn, but I just can't imagine turning back now. It would seem like such a waste of two good years of my life.
Of course, no sane person would do any of this if he felt there wasn't anything worthwhile at the end. I mean, it's not like I'm living in NORTH Korea. :) I find many good things in Korea too. I have made some very good friends, found people I can trust in business and in life, grown to love the food and many aspects of the culture, and have even started understanding some of the fundamental motivations of the everyday Korean (which makes it easier to tolerate some of what I perceive to be difficult behavior). There's much to admire in a people that has survived devastating wars, occupations, dictators, and economic crises to become one of the leading lights of the Asian economic juggernaut. I can certainly understand why Koreans are so proud of being Korean; after all, how many other people in the world have been able to achieve so much in so little time. It's a testament to their determination, stubborness and work ethic that they've been able to do what they've done. I salute them for that.
But it's really individual Koreans that have drawn me in deeper into the metaphorical forest of Frost's poem. Each time I get frustrated by something, I meet some new person who fascinates me. I just saw a show on TV the other day that featured this man whose sole mission in life was to promote love of the Korean flag. Everyday he goes around his neighborhood handing out free flags or exhorting people with flags to proudly display them. I know many people in the Western world who'd call him crazy, but you've got to admire a guy who finds meaning in making other people prouder of their country. It's a heck of a lot more productive than spending your spare time learning Klingon or attending Trekkie conventions, I can tell you that much.
I guess the defining moment of my stay was when I spent one night out in the center of the city, together with what must have been a million people, watching the Korean national football team battle France in the World Cup. It was an amazing experience. :) Hundreds of Korean celebrities performed on stage before the game, during halftime and even after everything was done, as the first rays of morning sun peeped over the horizon. And when Park Ji-Sung toepicked that ball past Fabien Barthez's hands, securing an incredible draw, the roar I was swept up in was deafening, both sonically AND emotionally. Here was a people that lived and breathed passion for their country, that did not want to apologize for who or what they were, and that would willingly die for the glory of their nation. You've certainly got to respect that. It really touched me deep inside. It was an awesome feeling to have. And while I live here, I'll keep on the look-out for more of this to come.
* * * * *
The Road Not Taken
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveller, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference
...Robert Frost
One of the most "true" poems he's ever written would be "The Road Not Taken", not because it's so famous, but more because it is a pretty accurate picture of how decisions in life can impact your future.
I never could imagine myself living and working in Korea, for example, just 6 short years ago. I was a business consultant, tired of the grind, seeking new things in life. I accepted a one-year job offer to teach in Thailand's top private university mainly to explore new horizons, and to (admittedly) escape the stress of a job I was growing to like less and less.
One year stretched to four, however, and Thailand became not just a pit-stop, but more like a destination for life. I love that country so much, and I plan on retiring there. I still go there maybe twice or thrice a year, just to take a break, and I love everything about it: the food, the people, the general atmosphere of relaxed living.
Why then did I find myself in Korea? I've been asked this very question many times over, and I find that I have no real answer except that I liked the challenge of contributing to a national debate program in disarray, and I further liked the opportunity to work with very bright, very eager and very, very determined students. Plus, in many respects, Korea is almost the complete opposite of Thailand, and I wanted to see just how I would (or even if I could) adapt to such a great new challenge. If Thailand is my "safe" choice, the one that I'm sure I would always love, Korea is my "road less travelled".
It hasn't always been easy. I'm not even sure it's easy even now. :) I've battled prejudice, racial stereotyping, outright rejection of my ethnicity (from taxi drivers all the way to university professors) and even direct insults from old people on the subway. I've been victimized by unscrupulous people who tried to take advantage of me, and been used by people I'd come to trust. It's been an interesting set of experiences, to say the least, but I'm still here and I'm not intending to leave anytime soon. :) Heck, I've even started a business here, so I definitely am not planning on skipping town for a while yet.
I guess the whole idea Frost had of going down a path and finding it harder and harder to turn back and restart one's life afresh is resonating with me now. The more I sacrifice to endure things here, and to learn to adjust and adapt (i.e. learning the language, the culture and so on), the more I find it harder and harder to turn back. I just don't want to give up on Korea until I prove to myself that I can be a success and be accepted for such by mainstream Korean society. Call me stubborn, but I just can't imagine turning back now. It would seem like such a waste of two good years of my life.
Of course, no sane person would do any of this if he felt there wasn't anything worthwhile at the end. I mean, it's not like I'm living in NORTH Korea. :) I find many good things in Korea too. I have made some very good friends, found people I can trust in business and in life, grown to love the food and many aspects of the culture, and have even started understanding some of the fundamental motivations of the everyday Korean (which makes it easier to tolerate some of what I perceive to be difficult behavior). There's much to admire in a people that has survived devastating wars, occupations, dictators, and economic crises to become one of the leading lights of the Asian economic juggernaut. I can certainly understand why Koreans are so proud of being Korean; after all, how many other people in the world have been able to achieve so much in so little time. It's a testament to their determination, stubborness and work ethic that they've been able to do what they've done. I salute them for that.
But it's really individual Koreans that have drawn me in deeper into the metaphorical forest of Frost's poem. Each time I get frustrated by something, I meet some new person who fascinates me. I just saw a show on TV the other day that featured this man whose sole mission in life was to promote love of the Korean flag. Everyday he goes around his neighborhood handing out free flags or exhorting people with flags to proudly display them. I know many people in the Western world who'd call him crazy, but you've got to admire a guy who finds meaning in making other people prouder of their country. It's a heck of a lot more productive than spending your spare time learning Klingon or attending Trekkie conventions, I can tell you that much.
I guess the defining moment of my stay was when I spent one night out in the center of the city, together with what must have been a million people, watching the Korean national football team battle France in the World Cup. It was an amazing experience. :) Hundreds of Korean celebrities performed on stage before the game, during halftime and even after everything was done, as the first rays of morning sun peeped over the horizon. And when Park Ji-Sung toepicked that ball past Fabien Barthez's hands, securing an incredible draw, the roar I was swept up in was deafening, both sonically AND emotionally. Here was a people that lived and breathed passion for their country, that did not want to apologize for who or what they were, and that would willingly die for the glory of their nation. You've certainly got to respect that. It really touched me deep inside. It was an awesome feeling to have. And while I live here, I'll keep on the look-out for more of this to come.
* * * * *
The Road Not Taken
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveller, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference
...Robert Frost
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