Does death really define us?

In my philosophy classes back in college, I heard of the concept that death is the defining point in our lives; that we work towards our deaths, and that the choices we make often mirror how we live with the limited time that we have.

In other words, if we were all immortal, with no consequences to have to speak of regarding how we choose to live (ex. smoking, drinking, drugs), then we would live vastly different lives than the ones we choose for ourselves today.

I tend to agree with the idea.

One of the things that has always terrified me about relationships (romantic, platonic or whatever) is the fact that life is so darn short. Why waste time on something that ultimately won't work, or won't give you the happiness you feel you need? I've had many relationships in my life, and with each one there's always a sense of wistfulness... as if deep inside you know that it may not, and probably will not, last...

Plus, when I was younger, I was willing to endure relationships that weren't quite healthy for me. I had emotionally-draining ones, for instance, that made me wonder quite why I was in them in the first place. Now that I'm getting older, it's clear that I don't want to waste time on people that just don't matter. Why bother? Each moment we have is precious, so we should allocate every single one to those who either enrich our lives or with whom we have something meaningful. Everyone else is really just a drain on our limited resources.

But here's the thing... how the heck would we know who is or isn't worthwhile? We can see the obvious ones, such as the guy who is just an ass to others, or the girl who doesn't do anything but take your money and spend it on herself... but what about the ones who provide both good and bad things? In other words, what about most of the world? How can we tell if someone will ultimately be worthwhile if, say, falling in love with a lady will bring both heartbreak and joy? Or if being friends with a guy will mean having to endure a boatload of problems but at the same time gaining a lifelong pal?

And that leads me to another philosophy concept: you'll never really understand something unless you actually experience it (phenomenology). You won't know what's worthwhile in life until you actually live through it. It kinda sucks in a way. I mean, why can't we come up with something that anticipates stuff, rather than just describes stuff? I sometimes wish it were as easy as having your parents tell you in kindergarten to "watch out for the bad kids". My problem is in knowing who the bad kids are. You'll never really know till you give them a chance to muck up your life.

So, since I don't want to be a hermit, and I'm not going to live towards my death in fear, I am recommitting to "mucking things up", if you will. I just hope I find enough good people to make it all worthwhile.

The abuse of power

Just read about this online. I'm adding the link here so that the story spreads even more. It's the story (that I'm sure many of you have heard of) about a powerful politician, his sons, and their bodyguards, beating up a defenseless 56 year old man and his 14 year old son (who goes to the same school I used to) on the golf course.

My family has a membership to that course. It's supposed to be for the more upscale Filipinos who (presumably) would be more educated about etiquette and good behavior. Obviously, that presumption is invalid in this case.

Here's the link:
An all-too-familiar story

I've seen this attitude all too often from people. The sad thing is that they often get away with it. Given the culture of corruption and entitlement in the Philippines, I really don't have much hope that anything will come out of this.