Sometimes it's good to admit you need people

I've always thought of myself as a loner. Even when I was young, I tended to keep to myself, opting to read books in my room or go on the internet instead of trying to socialize with friends and family.

Things changed a bit when I got to high school and college, where I discovered, in turn, debate and judo. I guess the combination of the two helped me to break through that tough facade I had been maintaining all those lonely years growing up.

However, a part of me never really changed. I never used to like asking for help, and I still don't. I somehow felt then, as I still do now, that being independent was a good thing, and that my problems were my own... not meant to be a bother to others, but rather an obstacle for me to overcome. After all, wasn't it Nietzsche who said, "What doesn't kill me, makes me stronger..."?

But lately, I've started to realize that it's ok to ask for help. After all, even the greatest generals had their armies to lean on. Alexander the Great didn't conquer the known world with just his sword; Attila the Hun didn't get to the gates of Rome just because he was fearsome or, by all accounts, ugly. :)

No... they had their armies, and their trusted lieutenants. Few are the men and women so great that they can change the world all by themselves. Even Jesus Christ needed his apostles.

So as I get older, and painfully wiser, I suppose it's time for me to accept that I can't solve all my problems on my own. In fact, perhaps some of my problems stemmed from the fact that I kept wanting to solve my OTHER problems on my own. After all, you can't bandage your own back. If you're bleeding, you need someone else's help to stay alive. I'd just been leaning with my back against walls, trying to stem the flow. A stupid way to live, really. Not even physicians can heal themselves of everything.

So now that I know you're a part of my life, however that may play out, let me publicly acknowledge that I need you. I can't do everything on my own, least of all the things that matter most. If you'll be beside me, however, I think I can push away from that wall, and start to see the world the way I was meant to see it.

If you watch my back, I'll watch yours. Deal? :)