Thursday, January 05, 2006

Ever wondered...

1) How George Bush got to be President with fewer votes than Al Gore... ? I mean, I thought the electoral college was meant to ensure fair representation across the states. If having fewer voters get to select the leadership of the US is fair, then I guess America deserves Bush.

2) How oil companies can claim they didn't take advantage of Hurricane Katrina, and yet subsequently raise oil prices and declare record profits by the end of the year? Hmmm... seems to me, if you raise prices for poor people AFTER a natural disaster, and then throw parties for yourselves because you got more money than you ever got before... surely some people have LESS money than they had before? And wouldn't those folks be... the ones who suffered from Hurricane Katrina? How is this NOT exploitation?

3) How some women claim they don't care about rich guys, and only want those with "kind hearts," and then go for either Brad Pitt or D0nald Trump? Where are all the supermodels in love with the sweet, nerdy guy next door?

4) How most women in a party/dinner/social cannot possibly go to a bathroom alone?

5) How many men actually say the vows "till death do us part" with a straight face?

6) How many priests actually look hopeful during the marriage ceremony? If gambling were legal in the Church, do you think that priests might start betting on how many couples they can get to STAY married?

7) How some kids can be so darn cute when young, and just plain look like they fell out of the ugly tree when they get older?

8) How many times we end up rebooting our computer, without EVER complaining to Microsoft?

9) How we could possibly let O.J. Simpson go? And how we could not fire every member of the prosecution team for screwing up an open-and-shut case?

10) How Jennifer Lopez can actually make money? I mean, she can't sing, she can't act, and she sure as heck can't make perfume...

11) How Britney Spears could pick Kevin Federline? I mean, this is Britney, for crying out loud?? You'd think she could at least have picked a guy with some talent. Then again, what does she know about talent?

12) How John Kerry could be so BORING?

13) How movies like "Gigli" ever get made? I mean, shouldn't there be a rule that if a movie this bad is ever greenlighted, the guy/girl greenlighting it should be fired... if not shot?

14) How cigarettes kill over 500,000 people each year (compared to less than 20,000 for ALL illegal drugs), and yet cigarettes are legal but marijuana is not?

15) How America has the most gun violence among children in the world, and the most guns in the world, and yet the NRA still insists that owning guns makes America a safer place to live?

16) How women can say they are "absolutely stuffed" after the main course, but then immediately start munching on a hot fudge brownie offered to them for dessert?

17) How some men actually pretend they aren't afraid of commitment? Of course, many of these men end up getting divorced and practicing "serial monogamy," which is the state of being always faithful to each new girl you end up with.

18) How smart George W. Bush makes ordinary Americans feel? I mean, if HE can be President, then so can anybody else... Thank God Arnold was born in Austria...

19) How chocolate has given women more consistent pleasure than all the men in the world combined?

20) How people will get outraged, OUTRAGED at a man who kicks a puppy to death, yet not bat an eyelash when thousands of innocent Iraqi civilians are bombed or shot to death in this senseless war...?

I've got so many more, but no more time. Perhaps another day...

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